I can feel it in my heart
by LittleDhampirRoza
Summary: COMPLETE!Tohru's confusion comes to a hault when a sudden death stikes her life. But when she finally knows her feelings, it just so happens that he's gone. 2Shot
1. Part One

**This is a short fan fiction and... I really don't know why I did this. Oh, well! It just came to me. Aw, heck, this is so stupid...**

**Chapter one**

_I can feel it in my heart... the things I didn't find the guts to tell..._

"Tohru? Are you alright?"

The brown haired didn't move from her spot, she didn't even turn to face the concerned neko. She kept her head in the same spot, not taking a moment to even respond. She just sat there with her back turned, faced towards the hospital bed silently.

_I can feel it rising through my very body... my very heart..._

"Why...?" Tohru whispered.

_The very heart... of which didn't mature fast enough..._

"W-what?" Kyo stood at the door, watching the miserable girl to whom he loved.

Without turning she softly touched the hand on the hospital sheets. "I'm fine Kyo-kun..." she said barely louder than a whisper.

_... to say our final goodbyes..._

'_No, your not...' _Kyo thought, it hurt him so much to see her hurting like this. Miserable, sorrow, shock... Kyo couldn't even come to use the words to describe her emotions at this moment. "But your-"

Tohru cut him off. "Please Kyo-kun..." she turned around to fully face the orange headed boy. "Please..." she whispered, tears in her eyes and pleading. "Please try to understand..."

Kyo felt his insides churn, he couldn't see her like this. "... alright..." he left the dim lit room.

_... why can't I see you?... where are you my love?..._

Tohru turned the chair back to the hospital bed. She stared at the pail boy who's hand she was holding. She remained silent, she closed her wet blue eyes. Her shoulders shook as her weeping returned. "Y-Yuki... why did you leave me?" she whispered as she tightened her grip on Yuki's I've cold hand. "Why...?"

_...I miss you so..._

Her hair swayed as a slight breeze swept around the room. Tohru lifted her newly wet eyes to glance at the window. The sun was slowly setting behind the trees. All the colors melted together within pink, red, orange... and all other colors that go into that combination. More tears made their was down her pale cheeks.

_...Come back to me... I need you...!_

Tohru rubbed her eyes, though it didn't matter. They where always replaced by new ones.

_...You are the only one who can keep my heart beating..._

She stood and walked over to the window and rested her elbows on the window seal. She gently put her cupped her hands and rested her head on her hands.

'_Yuki... why, why, why, why... I never go to tell you...!' _she silently screamed.

_...Why is it... that no matter how many times I scream your name..._

'_Yuki!' _she silently pleaded tears now streaming down her face. Tohru walked back to the chair and clasped her fingers around his hand. I remember...

"_You can erase my memories, but after promise you'll still be my friend?"_

Yes... that one moment... Tohru gripped Yuki's hand... _'if only I'd known... that one day, I... I would come love you this much...' _she thought sadly.

_...I've always remembered... the day we first became friends..._

She looked at his face. She'd always thought of him as a prince... but... there seemed to be no happy ending in this fairy tail... It's more like a fairy tail than anything else. A handsome, noble prince, a beautiful, loving princess... and the forbidden love that was always lingering in their thoughts.

_...I've always remembered... the day we first became friends...but now, there's no one there to answer me..._

The princess... Tohru gently lifted his hand to her cheek. Yuki... please come back...

_...I finally know my reason for me! And your not here to share my life with..._

Tohru's glistening eyes closed and more tears formed in the brim of her eyes. She remebered the times that she couldn't sleep, or had a nightmare. She would come downstairs care not to make any noise. There she would sneek around the corner and see Yuki under the kotatsu doing homework or eating a snack. She would walk in hoping not to startle him. They would talk for hours about whatever came to mind, sometimes nightmares.

_...what about those nights that we stayed up talking? Who will I share that with?..._

There was soft knock on the door, Tohru slightly jumped. _'Oh, gosh! What time is it?' _Tohru noticed the sun had sunken a long time ago, and now it was completely dark. "Uh, yes?" she said gently setting Yuki's hand on the bed. The door slowly opened and she quickly whipped her eyes with her sleeves. Unfortunately not quick enough.

"Don't be that way Tohru-kun." Shigure poked his head in the room. His first look at Tohru and he frowned. He stepped inside the room, and closed the door behind him. "Oh, Tohru-kun..." he kneeled right in front of the girl. "...I sorry..."

Tohru gasped, "oh, no! Shigure-kun! You have nothing to apologize for! You did nothing wrong!" she explained. She sighed, and brock eye contact with the inu. "There's nothing you could have done..."

Shigure put his hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "The least thing I could to comfort you is give you a hug... but I can't do that either." Shigure smiled sadly. "But, Tohru?"

Tohru found it hard to avoid eye contact with the writer. She looked at Shigure tears at the brim of her eyes. "Yes?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"Would Yuki want you to mourn over his death?"

"Tohru's eyes widened, she wasn't expecting that. "I-I..."

"Tohru, Tohru, Tohru..." Shigure smiled warmly to her, though there was still sadness in his eyes. "Yuki would want you to be happy... to not be able to move foward, for you to be crying like this..." Shigure gently lifted his finger to her eyes and caught her falling tear. "It pains us so much... to see our beloved flower wilting with despair."

Tohru felt it hard not to smile at Shigure, he was right though. "Okay..."

Shigure smiled again, "good!" he stood up and patted Tohru on the head, _'you're a good girl Tohru...' _Shigure turned his heal and walked towards the door. When he turned to see Tohru's pretty blue eyes. "Come and join us in a couple minutes, alright?" Tohru silently nodded.

_I can feel it in my heart... my useless heart with only one thing to give..._

As soon as Tohru made sure Shigure had left, stood up and put the chair in the corner of the room. She walked over to the door, but turned to look one last time at the on she loved the most. She opened the door to make sure no one was there, than shut the door, and slowly walked over to the bed one last time.

Tohru felt hot tears fall from her eyes, as she prepared to say the words she never could before.

"Yuki... I love you... more than anything in the world..." she slowly leaned down and closed her eyes. Her lips gently touched his, at this, her mind went blank. She couldn't think, not like she needed to right now. Tohru couldn't breathe, she couldn't stop crying. But her tears weren't caused by joyfulness, she knew this. They where caused by despair and misery. This was the first and last time she would ever touch his lips. Tohru didn't feel embarrassed or shy, there was no reason to. She knew that what she was doing was right and her actions where out of the love that had been building up inside her for so long... her parted his, wishing, praying, begging that this would also be like a fairy tail. When the kiss would go beyond the limits of death and there would be life again. He would open up his eyes and all would be okay.

Wishful thinking.

It's not a fairy tail, there wouldn't be any resurrecting... her prince was truly gone... never to come back.

Tohru, backed away from the bed, eyes closed. Prepared to say her last goodbyes. "Yuki... my prince... I'll see you again someday... I promise you..."

_...because I was born for you, and you alone... _

Tohru silently bowed, walked over to the door. Stopping one more time, almost turning one more time... but knew she wouldn't be able to leave if she chanced another glance. She whipped her tears and shut the door.

_...You are my everything ...I can feel it in my heart..._


	2. Part Two

**Hey there guys! Okay I guess I have to explain myself now... I was only planing to have one chapter, but since one of my reviewers gave me such a good idea, I guess I shall use it. (Thank you sooooo much FurubaFanatic3036! I love you soooo much, this chapter is all thanks to you!) So I am making a second chapter! Yays for meeee! I've been so sad that the next volume comes out in December though... sniffles... I feel like I'm blabbing too much do I'll go ahead and do the special thanks so you go ahead and read the chapter.**

**Special Thank(s)!**

**Darkmoonfang- **I'm sorry! I didn't know myself! Anywho thanks for the review!

**OtakuGirlEmi- **Sorry Emi! Don't cry! I didn't mean to make you sad! Thanks so much!

**yoshiru- **Yeah, I'm 6'1! And yes I love Black Eyed Peas and Fifty Cent. Especially Black Eyed Peas Do you like 'My humps'? I love it! Lol, it was fun talking to ya! Thanks again!

**aky1991- **Thanks! I'm sorry, I killed off my- um..._our_ beloved Yuki... sorry...

**loyanini- **Sorry, and thanks!

**B.C. Company- **Sorry! (I'm really getting tired of saying that...)

**sensai- **Thanks... /'...

**Anonymous- **Thanks for the review, to you and your friend!

**FurubaFanatic3036- **This chapter wouldn't be psssible if you hadn't reviewed me, so thanks to you; this story has not only one- but TWO chapters! Thanks so much!

**I can feel it in my heart**

**part two by kattygirl32132**

The wind blew around all the leaves in the area on the fall afternoon, as the chill got to a brown haired girl. She wore a black dress that flowed along with her as she walked. She had light blue eyes, and a smile planted on her face.

She looked up at the sky happily,' _it's about 4 o'clock already...' _she sighed, wow... days where flying by...

"Tohru-kun!" she turned around to face a breathless inu running towards her. She giggled at the sight of the orange neko being dragged along behind him.

"Hello Shigure-kun, Kyo-kun!" she greeted them with a smile and a bow. Shigure was breathless as he smiled at her, though five years had passed since they had first met, her respect seemed to only grow.

"Tohru-kun are you going with your friends?" he asked, she smiled while shaking her head.

"No, Hana-chan's with her family today, and Uo-chan is at work!" she said still smiling.

Shigure frowned with worry, "Are you going to be alright going by yourself?" he asked.

He had expected Tohru to look away and avoid the subject or say that she would be okay, but instead she just smiled sadly and looked him in the eyes. "Would I lie and say that I would be alright?" she asked, Shigure raised his eye brows, he wasn't expecting that...

Tohru had changed after Yuki's death two years ago. She had matured mentally, she'd become a different person completely, she'd learned to protect herself and stand up for herself... _How,_ he would never know... Alas, that remark coming from anyone else would sound rude, but from Tohru it sounded quite polite.

Shigure smiled and patted her on the head proudly, "you've grown up Tohru... you really have..." She stared at him with a question like expression. "That said..." He turned to the sulking cat and grinned. "Kyo-chan, would you go with Tohru-kun please?" he asked as Kyo twitched from the suffix Shigure had used after his name. He was already annoyed as it was, and that damn inu was... he looked at Tohru standing behind Shigure, she might need someone to look after her right now.

"Fine, whatever." he said plainly folding his arms and looking away from the two looking at him.

Tohru watched Kyo with a frown on her face, Kyo shouldn't have to come if he shouldn't want to... "Shigure-san... it's okay, I'll be okay by myself..."

Shigure turned his back to the sulking neko to face the concerned girl. He raised his hand to her nose and made a little noise like 'tsk tsk' with his index finger pointing at her nose. She blushed slightly, which only made her look cuter. "Tohru, Tohru, Tohru..." he said with a sigh. "You can't go by yourself, that would be silly!" he said with his carefree smile. He patted Tohru on the head lovingly, she blushed even more. His smile faded as he continued. "...leaving you by yourself would be cruel Tohru-kun..." he said only loud enough for the two of them to hear. "...And we would want to make sure you didn't cry your heart out as well..." Tohru looked at her feet.

"I... I don't want to worry anyone..." she mumbled barely louder than a whisper. Kyo stayed out of this conversation, he didn't want to bother them.

Shigure pulled her closer, she gasped softly. He whispered in her ear, "Take good care of Kyo for me..." She stayed silent for a moment as Shigure let her go. Her face slowly returned to it's normal color. She smiled as Shigure nodded in satisfaction.

"Alright!" she responded with a grin, and her perky mood returned. Shigure chuckled as Tohru ran behind and grabbed Kyo's hand. She pulled him forward and dragged him back past Shigure, Kyo stayed quiet as Tohru pulled him along the trail.

She turned again and waved to Shigure, who was still watching the two. "Bye bye Shigure-kun!" she called and turned her heal and continued to pull Kyo along.

"Thank you Tohru-kun..." Shigure stared into the fall sky. _'For more than you know...'_

Tohru had finally let go of Kyo's hand. He was now walking just barely behind her. Kyo didn't want to go with her because he knew that if her saw her cry again... he wouldn't be able to make it... he didn't ever want to see her tear stained face ever again. He loved her too much. It would break his heart to ever see that again.

Two whole years since his cousin's death, and yet, it seemed like just yesterday Kyo had seen her tear stained face. Her pure tears... her misery... her dispair... He'd prayed that he wouldn't _ever _have to see that again. It would kill him.

She was too deep in thought to really notice the neko's concern for her. She was going to try her hardest not to cry. Visiting Yuki's grave after a two whole years was hard on her, but... she was going to try her hardest...

"Tohru!"

Tohru and Kyo both where pulled from their thoughts and looked ahead to where the voice had come from.

Tohru gasped slightly, "U-Uo-chan?" standing up the road was her two best friends, Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima. "And Hana-chan too!" Tohru ran over to them, with Kyo behind her. Hana was in all black as usual, but had a black cape on as well. Kyo noticed her outfit almost immediately, it was the outfit she had worn for new years. Uo was wearing a suicide uniform- which had been passed down to her from Tohru's mother Kyoko.

"What are you two doing here?" Tohru asked when they had reached them.

Uo stared at her like she was stupid (which wasn't true of course...) "What do you mean?" she asked pulling some of her blonde hair behind her shoulder.

Hana put her hand on Tohru's shoulder, she smiled at her. "What Arisa means is that we didn't want you to go alone..."

Tohru nodded with a huge smile on her face. "Thank you Hana-chan, Uo-chan!"

"Well," Uo turned her attention to Kyo. "I suppose orange top got here first... Bet he was stalking her..."

Kyo twitched. "What the hell is that suppose to mean yankee?" he said in a low and threatening tone.

Uo was enjoying herself, it was always fun to tease orange top. "What are you talking about lazy ass? You'd better not be stalking our little Tohru..." she threatened in an equally warning like tone.

"Uo-chan! Kyo-kun!" They both looked down the street, Hana and Tohru where already leaving. "Hurry up!" Tohru called.

TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT

Tohru kneeled in front of the grave that said_ Sohma_ on it. She set down the bunch of red roses tied by a red ribbon. "Hey there Yuki-kun." she said keeping her voice strong. She _wasn't _going to cry. Not now, not after she had been preparing for this for so long. Hana and Uo where kneeled at her sides. Trying they're best to comfort her.

Kyo was sitting on a bench behind the three of them. He was avoiding this. Truth be told, he missed his cousin... He missed having something to take his anger out on... well he did, it had become Shigure. But still...

Kyo chanced a look at the three of them. His eyes widened, his eyes where playing tricks on him...

A silver haired boy hovered above the onigiri, the boy had purple eyes and a gentle smile planted on his lips. Yuki in spirit was watching over Tohru...

Not able to cross...

TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT TT

Kyo and Tohru walked home in the night sky, Tohru had insisted that she'd be okay walking home with Kyo. She bid farewell to her friends Uo and Hana, and had begun the journey home with Kyo.

Kyo looked down at her. He asked, "you... didn't see did you?"

Tohru looked up at him, question in her eyes. "What are you talking about Kyo-kun?"

Kyo stayed silent for a moment then shook his head. "Never mind..."

"Oh..." she saw Shigure at the door of the house and they came up the trail. "Okay..."

...He wouldn't tell her right now...

...But he would someday...

...Just not today...

**The End**


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